New Year...New Goals?

I started out this year not in my normal, lets go and take on the world attitude.  I dont know if it was the last part of 2022 that really got to me, or am I just losing motivation?  For me, talking about what is going on is a type of release.  I know this isn't everyones cup of tea, but I know when you talk about what you are going thru, other people feel more confident to know they aren't alone.  

It's a new year, and I just don't feel connected.  I don't know where I lost that connection, but I do know I feel that connection to my passion has faded.  Don't get me wrong, I love my work, I love my family and I am grateful for everything I have. But I just feel.....lost.

November and December were really rough.  We had some family things that popped up. I had to go into overdrive mode in my business. Kids had 10,000 activities. Holiday season was bearing down on me. Sickness was around every corner in our house(thankfully not bad for my family) and then it hit me.  I got a sinus infection after a regular cold, and then developed Shingles.  It all hit me because of stress and anxiety that I hold onto in my life.  Clearly something needed to change.

So starting the new year with the same stress and anxiety, I knew that I really needed to change my ways.  But how could I? I have 3 children, a home to rmanage, a business to run and bills to pay.  What do you do when you feel like you are backed into a corner?  

This is where I know my passionate spark I usually have faded.  I wouldn't say I'm fully depressed, but Lost feels like the correct term.  Honestly, I'm trying to push thru(b/c that is what we Freelands do).  But I am not sure where I'm pushing to. What is the journey I need to continue on?  

However, even in the midst of all of this.  I know there is a light at the end.  That there is a bigger reason I am going thru this and that yes, it will be ok.  It's all figureoutable. I know the my deep mindset work over the years is helping those thoughts come thru, but it is still difficult.  

So here is what I do know.  This is not the end.  I'm not quitting, I'm not giving up.  But I am taking the time I need, to focus on me, and reconnect with my passion and reason for being here.  

I will be taking January to refocus, realign, and reconnect to my deeper path.  I want to clear myself of the distractions and stress that comes with needing to constantly fill my calendar so I can pay our bills and help contribute to my family.  I believe this is needed and my body has finally just shown me it was necessary (I mean, hello Shingles at 38) LOL

So if you are feeling the same way...here is what I suggest(and what I'm going to do)

Start  by decluttering the things you need to.  Don't put them off anymore.  I already decluttered my children closets(and I'm trying to not let the stress of needing to buy my son more clothes and shoes since he has outgrown them get to me).  Here is what I'm doing.

1.) Unsubscribing from newsletters I get in my email(and it's ok if you unsubscribe from mine)

2.) Make a list of projects I have started and need to finish.  Then start checking them off, one by one.  

3.) Get back to reading, and start journaling to see where my soul is trying to lead me.

4.) Start taking care of myself in forms of eating better and moving my body.  

I have so many things I want to do, add to my business, start a design business, do more DIY home improvement projects, start online courses, etc.  I MEAN I DO HAVE BIG DREAMS.  I just need to get more clear on where I'm going and what I'm doing.  

So if you need to book a session, I am booking For February on.  I appreciate the space my clients give me and am grateful to be able to take this time to do some soul searching.  

Even if this whole blog overwhelms you, remember, start somewhere. Start small..but just START!